Who’s the firestarter?

Posted on June 19, 2009
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An Indian woman in a wheelchair moves into a new neighborhood and finds her home and storefront continuously vandalized and constantly threatened to burn down.

She asks me for help so I dress up as an public city worker responsible for cleaning up grounds and making the neighborhood look pretty while I wear what looks like a haz mat suit and goggles.

I lap around the outside with her once because I want to see if anyone will inflict damage to her store while I have her away from the building and they know she’ll take a while to return going up hill in a wheelchair.

As we travel down the street and away from the front of her place, I’m picking up recyclable bottles to place in a heavy garbage bag. They’re just light enough to swing the bag freely at an intruder, and just heavy enough to do enough damage. They also make a great distraction when you throw a glass bottle far behind a person. The sound of shattering glass is enough to make anyone peer around out of sheer curiosity.

Upon turning the corner to which is now the back of her building, but the neighbor owns that part, I see a large black man sitting on his old Cadillac. We make eye contact and then I look ahead as he stares me down with his fist in his hand as if to intimidate us and he knods once. I send the Indian woman down the street and tell her to go to the convenience store or fast food place so she is in a public place with cameras.

Upon turning left around the corner, a woman gets on her bike in a hurry on the side of the woman’s building. There’s smoke emitting from a door, but its a fire that was put out with a squirt bottle of water. She rides off fast before I can get to her, but she looked scared.

As I turn the corner towards the front of the house, a man in a fake looking cable tv van and uniform is getting back into his truck. In his hand is a small torch. We all know the cable man doesn’t carry a torch. Seems like he’s the firestarter and the woman on the ten speed put the fire out, but looked nervous like she didn’t want to be seen putting it out otherwise she’d face the fire as well.

I start smashing the glass bottles in front of the womans store, and to no surprise fake long haired fake cable guy approaches me partially confused, but with a devilish grin to his face.

“What’re you doing man?”
“Oh, this lady…you know, not a fan of foreigners on my street, so when she comes out, I’m going to pop her wheelchair tire with all this glass, then she’ll be stuck out here all night because we all hate her.”
“Why don’t you just burn the bitch down?”
“Just tried that, but it blew out. If you’re up for it, I’ll get the torch and we’ll do it right this time.”
“Sure, go get it” I respond and as he turns he takes an empty ice tea bottle to the back of the head and hits the ground hard. As he’s falling, the big black man from the Cadillac turns the corner to the right of the house/store and knods again. We pull the man into the back of his own van and tie him to the inside which is covered with white power symbols and rebel southern flags. This one’s a real character.

We pull the man’s license and drive his van to his home. My partner wants to torch his eyes out so he can no longer judge a person by their color. Instead, we leave a note of 20 things he could be doing that are better than picking on an old woman in a wheelchair; starting with his daughter.

Poor kid left her school calandar in the car with tonights date circled by a heart and stick figure of a princess with little stick figures around her. Above her head it said “Me” and the little guys were the seven dwarves.

Watching her perform in the school play would’ve been a better idea than posing as the cable guy trying to burn an old woman in a wheelchair.

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